I must admit, today has not been a very positively charged day for me. I’ve felt lethargic, anxious, doubtful, grievous and unloved. The lies swirling through my head, saying things like “you’re fat and ugly.” “You’re never going to reach your goal weight so why do you even want to try?” “You know, the doctor is going to call with your pathology results and tell you that you have cancer.” The list goes on and on, spanning a wide variety of topics. Then I find myself partially paralyzed as I listen to the deceit. The floodgate of tears overwhelm my eyes. It’s hard to swallow the lump that fills my throat, as the hurt feelings and all too common array of emotions begin to overpower me, yet once again. I stand in complete disillusion, contemplating how anyone in their right mind could like…or dare I say… love me. Negative feeding….vicious, vicious cycle.
I knew it was coming. I always do. Want to know how I knew? I recommitted my ways to the Lord and left everything in His very capable hands to bring it to fruition in my life. You see, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8a) and that someone is me. By me standing firm in my faith and committing my ways to the Lord, regarding my desire for healthy living and positive leading, it made the enemy want to pursue hard after me, right in that very moment. He knows my weaknesses and exactly where to kick me when I’m down. But you know what? That’s okay! I know Who is on my side and Who will be victorious in my life! As far as the enemy, I will continue to “Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” (1 Peter 5:8b) I know I’m not alone. God promises me that, and I completely believe Him and trust Him with my life. Whatever this world can throw at me, I know Who is always there to catch me. Should I never reach my goal and my idea of the perfect weight, that’s okay. I’m not defined by a number on a scale. Should I receive that phone call informing me that I have cancer, God is the Great Physician and I know He will choose to heal me on this side of heaven, or in that moment I see Him face to face. I am not defeated.
Satan comes only to kill, steal and destroy…kill your dreams, steal your joy, and destroy your life. He wreaks havoc in relationships and feeds on misery. He receives complete satisfaction in seeing you plummet into self-doubt, self-hate and living a negative life. Why does he come after followers of Christ? Because he already has the lost…they are no challenge for him. What gain is there in that for him? He desires God’s children. This is when you must stand firm in your faith! KNOW exactly Who you are plugged into, never allowing your positive charging system to become disengaged from the One in charge. Surround yourself in His word, His people, and His love, soaking in His truth and allowing it to resonate in your soul. Not allowing the negative to drain the positive. Acknowledge what you’re feeling, dismiss those negative emotions and RUN full steam ahead to God. He’s right there with you, arms open wide, waiting for you to let go and let God.
Here’s a little something that was shared last night in my online small group and I’d like to share it with you. When “those” days come, and we know they will, repeat the following list of God’s promises, read the scriptures, and receive these truths in your heart, mind and soul:
State your name before each of the following:
the forgiven child of God. (Romans 3:24)
the set-free child of God. (Romans 8:1-2)
the accepted child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:2)
the holy child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:30)
the made-new child of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
the loved child of God. (Ephesians 1:4)
the close child of God. (Ephesians 2:13)
the confident child of God. (Ephesians 3:12)
the victorious child of God. (Romans 8:37)
You were made for more.
I was made for more.”
In the past (and no so distant past I might add), I would have allowed the above described cycle of self-destruction to run rampant in my life, beating myself up to the point of complete depression and despair. But now, I choose change. I was not made for discouragement. I was not made for mediocrity. I was not made for whining. Whining drowns out the voice of God. It places the focus on the negative instead of the positive. I was made for more! I was made for more than failure. I was made for more than riding the continuous emotional rollercoaster. I was made to be victorious, and through God and God alone, I will be. When the enemy pounces, I am learning to stop, acknowledge my feelings, dismiss them immediately, and run to the arms of Christ. I must choose to banish the lie and insert His truth. “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you.” (James 4:7-8)
My word for 2012 is “Upload.” I will upload God and His truth into my heart, mind and soul, allowing Him to rewire my internal circuitry. When I begin to feel the heaviness of the “load”, I will lift it “up” to Him. I will upload new eating and exercise habits through educating myself, and also by remembering that I was made for more I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!! I will negate the negative and possess the positive in all aspects of my life. I will not allow my past, the hurts received from it, or comparisons linked to it, to dictate my future or allow it to determine my worth. My value and worth rests in Christ and Christ alone. I am His masterpiece, as I am a piece of the Master. ♥
Father God, I bow humbly before you and leave my requests and passions at Your feet. I ask that you remove all negativity from my being and replace it with resounding joy and positive principles in which to share. Create in me a pure heart, Oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Search me and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. Remove all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice from within me. See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. You have made known to me the path of life. You will fill me with joy in Your presence, and with eternal pleasures at Your right hand. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God. May Your good Spirit lead me on level ground. I commit my way to You, Lord. I trust in You and I know You will bring victory in my life. In Your Son’s mighty and powerful Name I pray. Amen.
Deanna Clardy – January 31, 2012
P.S. Today was a great day….