God = Satiety

God = Satiety

Have you ever been so hungry and yet nothing sounds good?  You search high and low in your cupboards and refrigerator waiting for that “Ah ha! THAT’S what I want” kind of moment, only to find blandness permeating from the shelves.  You finally reach that point where your hunger pangs are louder than your thoughts and it’s all you can focus on…feeding the need.  For whatever physiological reason there may be, your mind and your stomach are in complete disagreement, and you’ve reached that point where you’re just not hungry any more.  The desire passes and you’re body succumbs to the numbness being triggered in your brain, putting your body in a state of starvation and sending a false feeling of satisfaction, denying you of what you truly need.  Nutrition.

Or do you live on the opposite end of the spectrum?  You constantly crave food.  You eat until you’re full, but yet, still feel empty on the inside, so you continue to eat.  You partake of everything and anything placed before you, looking for it to satisfy this longing for fulfillment.  Then in the end, you hold your head in shame and feel like a glutton and a failure.

I’ve lived in the middle of this vicious cycle for most of my life.  Going days on end without eating, trying to lose weight, diet, after diet, after diet, all in an effort to feel better about the way I looked through the eyes of another.  Caring for my body with reckless abandonment, unaware of the damage that was taking place, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually.  And for what?  All in an effort to be loved, cherished and treasured like none other.  Only to realize that I could be the most beautiful, talented, richest, and gifted woman in the world, and it still wouldn’t be enough to change that fear of abandonment.  The fear of never being good enough and that there would always be someone else that would cause his eyes, mind, thoughts and heart to roam.  Then BAM, full steam ahead I would collide into that oh so familiar wall of depression, trying to find comfort in food, longing to be filled.  “You shall eat, but not be satisfied, and there shall be hunger within you; you shall put away, but not preserve, and what you preserve I will give to the sword.”  Micah 6:14.  Without God, I will continue to crave, to be empty and never be satisfied.  The things that I have relied upon, the so-called comforts of this world that I reach for, will all be tried by the sword – God’s word, God’s truth and God’s promises – and each and every time, they will fail.

God = Satiety.

God has brought a revelation to my life.  No one, no thing, no worldly, material possession, no food, no number on a scale, no pants or dress size…NOTHING will satisfy me, my hunger, my desires or my heart, mind and spirit, EXCEPT for HIM!  This truth has always been there, just waiting for me to grab hold and allow it to reside in my heart.  But for whatever reason, in my foolish free will, I chose to disregard it and not claim His promises for me, and for my life.  Instead, I chose to wallow in self pity and allow the enemy to torment me and my thoughts, all while he sits back and laughs, planning his next attack.  I withdrew and came to the place of “not feeling hungry anymore” and completely shielded my eyes from His word.  Therefore, I wasn’t being fed.  I would reach for what the world placed in front of me and I became “comfortable” in the pain.  It was familiar.  It didn’t deny me and it refused to abandon me.  It obviously wanted me, and that’s what I was looking for…right?  To be wanted?  Oh the things we hear when listening to the wrong voice.  The excuses and lies that infiltrate our minds.  The power that is robbed from within, making you lethargic, weary, ungrateful and susceptible to falling prey to the enemy.  “How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?”  Proverbs 6:9.

God = Satiety.

Christ brings true and complete satisfaction.  He is my Portion.  In ALL things.  “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:11-13.  He is the Lover of my soul, my Protection from the storm, my Strength when I’m weak, and my Rock on which I stand.

God = Satiety.

I have a confession.  I have placed an undeserving burden upon the people in my life.  The one who received the biggest burden is my husband.  You see, I’ve placed so much of who I am, and what my spirit craves, upon them…upon him…in an effort to feed my spirit.  I’ve looked for my happiness, my joy, my fulfillment, my desires, and my hope from him.  I’ve done a huge disservice to him, and to others in doing so.  What a burden indeed, because no matter what, people of this world will fail me, and I will fail them, as well.  Disappointment breeds in flesh.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that people can’t bring feelings of love, joy and degrees of happiness, but sooner or later, expectations of them are met with failure, frustration and discontentment.  “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God. He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— He remains faithful forever. He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry.” Psalm 146:3-7.

Only God brings true and complete love, joy, happiness, contentment, fulfillment and life…everlasting.

God = Satiety.

The Lord has shown me that all the things I’ve desired, every void I feel in my life, every craving, longing and need that I have looked for in people, food or things of this world can ONLY be found in Him.  He is my Maker and my Husband.  Only in Him can I truly be fulfilled.

“For your Maker is your Husband, the Lord Almighty is His Name, the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth.” Isaiah 54:5

“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.  My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.  One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard: Power belongs to You, God, and with You, Lord, is unfailing love.” Psalm 62:1-2; 7-8; 11-12

God = Satiety.

I still have my days of discouragement, and I know I will in the future.  The difference is now, I have my true North.  I have His promises written on my heart and I reach for them first, instead of food, people or things.  I know full well that HE is my true Husband, the Bridegroom, and even when people fail me, HE never will and I am to look to HIM for ALL things.  Only then will I NEVER be disappointed!!  Then, and only then, will I be able to find happiness and trust in others, and be able to cast off all fear of abandonment.  For in perfect love, there is no fear, and to love perfectly, is to love the Perfect One first.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”  Matthew 6:33.

God = Satiety.

I know I’ve rambled on, but walk with me just a bit further.  I want to share with you something I came across a couple years ago that began this journey of understanding for me.  I hope you will be blessed from reading it.

 
Be Satisfied with Me
By St. Anthony of Padua
 
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to a Christian, God says, “No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.

Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with Me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow Me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that’s all. Don’t be anxious, don’t worry
Don’t look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don’t look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you’ll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.

You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won’t be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly. I AM God.
Believe it and be satisfied.

 Blessings to you and yours.  May you be truly filled and satisfied in Him.

By Deanna Clardy
November 22, 2011
 

 

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About Deanna Clardy

Hi there! My name is Deanna. This space is for me and my thoughts. If you'd like to sit back and read a bit, feel free. I'd love to share my thoughts with you! Please feel free to leave a comment or like my blog! Blessings to you and yours!
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