It was during my ride in to work today that these five words penetrated my thoughts. “By the hand of another.” I was flooded with memories of things I’ve experienced, by the hand of another, ergo my blog.
I’ve spent my entire life depending on, waiting for, hoping in, and fleeing from – the hand of another. My complete existence was created by the hand of Another. I was cared for as an infant and child by the hand of another. It’s somewhat overwhelming to realize just how many “hands of another” have influenced my life.
Growing up, I found out what it was like to be misused, belittled and abused by the hand of another, the very hands that I looked to for friendship, love, comfort and a future. I realized very early in life that not all could be trusted with such a precious thing…my life.
I know the vulnerability of being in the home of a trusted friend for a sleep over, and finding out that her father was not so trustworthy. I know the fear that comes from opening up your heart and being completely transparent, only to have your name and character defamed and slandered by the hand of another. I know the heart wrenching agony that comes from losing loved ones, by the hand of another, and being left with the haunting question of “Why?!”
By the hand of another, I know the hardships of raising two children on my own; doing without so they wouldn’t have to; being there in every way possible, yearning to give them more than I could ever dream; loving them the best way I knew how and making sure they knew I’d do anything for them; and then setting them free to be the adults they had become.
I know how it is to trust someone so much that you would do anything for them, and in return be emotionally, verbally and physically abused, by the hand of another. I know the pain that comes from desiring to be loved so deeply that you’re willing to endure black eyes, busted lips, and a neck adorned with bruises displaying the markings of fingers, by the hand of another.
I know the suffering that comes from being devalued, demoralized and degraded as a woman from the impure eyes, adulterous thoughts and absolute physical betrayal, by the hand of another.
I know the damage that can be caused in the future from the ingraining of history repeating itself and by continuing to elicit thoughts of past behaviors, by the hand of another.
He showed me that even when things happen to me without my permission, my desire or my will and by the hand of another, I have a choice as to what I will do next. I can continue to live my life by the hand of another, or have another life through His hands. I choose Him….every time….I choose Him. I pray for only His hand in my life, and that I reflect the fingerprints of God.
He tells me that “Even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast” (Psalm 139:10).
He reminded me that “Before I was born the Lord called me; from my mother’s womb He has spoken my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of His hand He hid me; He made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in His quiver. He said to me, “You are my servant, in whom I will display my splendor.”(Isaiah 49:1-3).
He then spoke softy to my tender heart and recalled His promise “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you ” (Joel 2:25). He then whispered once more…“You are precious and honored in My sight, and I love you” (Isaiah 43:4).
I don’t assume to know the pain and heartache that you’ve had to endure in this lifetime by the hand of another. I haven’t a clue as to the horrific battles that have been waged against you because of your choices or from those choices that were made for you by the hand of another. All I can attest to are mine. But I do know this – there is an all loving God who CHOSE to create you; who formed you in the womb of your mother; Who loves you with all that He is, so much so that He bore the sin of the world and laid down His life just for you!
I also know that He is always with you and will never leave your side. He is your light through the darkness and a lamp unto your feet. Call out to Him, He is waiting…“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” (Isaiah 43:1-3)
Reach out and choose to live your life…by the hand of Another.
Deanna Clardy ~ October 26, 2011