When Forgiveness Means Forget You

Let’s face it, people screw up.  It’s called being human.  It’s called being a sinner, which each and every human being is from the moment of conception until their final breath.  We all sin and we all screw up.  Does one sin outweigh another?  Not according to Jesus.  A sin, is a sin, is a sin. All sin goes against God and keeps us from being righteous in His eyes.  Just because you sin differently than I do does not make you the better person.

How do you view forgiveness?  Would you throw away years of friendship over one violation?  What about a relationship with your child?  A family member?  Would the type of relationship matter before you made a choice to keep it or just throw it away?  Do you insist that the person who committed the violation against you first ask for your forgiveness before you will extend it?  If they do ask for forgiveness, are you willing to forgive and forget?  Or do you forgive and say forget you?

If you choose to truly forgive, do you search within yourself in an effort to better the relationship by seeking how you may have contributed to the situation?  Or do you continue to assume you are free and clear of any wrongdoing?  Where’s your forgiveness bar? What sets your standard?  I hope you know where it is because Jesus uses the same measure on you as you do with others.  ALL others, not just family.

In all relationships, there is a big difference between “I forgive you” and “I forget you.”  There is a big consequence in saying “I forgive you” just to make yourself feel better and keeping up with the “Christian code” to have the ability to say, “I told them I forgive them.”  Saying I forgive you, yet continuing to hold the person in contempt, is not forgiveness at all.  Saying I forgive you, yet continuing to lead that person to believe there is hope for a continued relationship when you know otherwise in your heart, is not forgiveness at all.  Saying I forgive you, yet deleting them from your life, is not forgiveness at all.  If you truly forgive someone, but no longer want a relationship with them, the only right thing to do is to tell them, in love, that is your desire.  Continuing to keep the “carrot of hope” dangling in front of them not only proves selfishness in your heart, but exacerbates the hurt, and delays the healing of the other person’s heart.  Your heart and your life, in the eyes of Jesus, are no more important than His other children.

Father God, thank You for never saying to me “I forgive you, but forget you” for the immeasurable amount of violations I have committed against You in my life!!  Thank You for saying “I forgive you and will forget your violation and I will remember it no more” when I come to you and ask for Your forgiveness!!  May Your measure of forgiveness always be what I give to others!!

In Christ’s Name, Amen.

Deanna Clardy
October 6, 2015


Corrie Ten Boom

Posted in God revealing moments | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Difference Maker

Maybe you can relate…

I have those days.  You know…those days when emotions outweigh reality and/or reality outweighs everything you know to be good and true in this world (or at least in your heart).  Days when I think, why bother?  What difference DOES it make?  What difference could I possibly make?  I mean, I know EVERYONE has grown weary of all my “Jesus freak” posts.  Family members or “friends” deleting/hiding me from their news feed as to not be exposed to my nonsense.  Or better yet, those that have actually posted a “request” that “religious” beliefs or “things” not be posted on Facebook so it doesn’t show up in their news feed (yeah…it all really happened).  How much more proof DO I need?

It is in “those days” that the enemy’s voice screams loudest.
It is in “those days” I have to remember to scream back…LOUDER.

It is in “those days” that I must remember…emotions do not have a brain.  Emotions are not logical.  Emotions are what they are – fleeting feelings, unpredictable surges of combustible intensity, combating every sensible thought you possess in hot pursuit to overtake all of your senses, demanding to have control.  They are relentless.  They are not prejudice.  But, they are God-given, and they are controllable, only in and through Him.

It is in “those days” that I must remember that last sentence.

God created me for a purpose, His purpose.  Just because someone else doesn’t agree with, or approve of, my purpose doesn’t make me any less purposeful.  I believe in my heart, and know it to be true because of God’s word, that one of my purposes here on this planet is to point people to Christ.  Another is to be His representative. And yet another is to be His reflection.  I was created to be a difference maker.

So were you.

Father God, thank You for my emotions. Thank You for creating me to be a passionate being in a compassion-less world.  Thank You for choosing me to be a difference maker for Your kingdom. Help me to always give pause to my emotions, allowing You the control over them.  Thank You for reminding me that emotions are indicators, not dictators.  Father God, I know I fail daily in this area (and so many other areas) and I know I stumble, but I also know that when I turn to You, You are always there, holding out Your mighty hand to pick up Your little girl.  Thank You for never growing weary of me.

In Jesus’ precious Name I will forever pray, Amen.

Deanna Clardy
October 10, 2014


Bring your tired
Bring your shame
Bring your guilt
Bring your pain
Don’t you know that’s not you’re name
You will always be much more to me

Every day I wrestle with the voices
That keep telling me I’m not right
But that’s alright

‘Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed
When others say I’ll never be enough
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world
In the world
In the world
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world

Bring your doubts
Bring your fears
Bring your hurt
Bring your tears
There’ll be no condemnation here
You are holy, righteous and redeemed

Every time I fall
There’ll be those who will call me
A mistake
Well that’s ok

There’ll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn’t matter
‘Cause the cross already won the war
He’s Greater
He’s Greater

I am learning to run freely
Understanding just how He sees me
And it makes me love Him more and more
He’s Greater
He’s Greater

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Behind The Scenes

God knows. God sees. God is working in my life, behind the scenes. Sometimes we want to know the entire story before the story is even set in motion. We want first dibs on reading the screenplay and making any revisions we aren’t comfortable with or completely can’t handle playing out in our life.

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything, and other times I believe I have nothing good within me.
But You look at my heart and see the person You created me to be, who I am in You, and the role You created in this world just for me

Father, forgive me.

I don’t know how my story ends but I do know I’ll be alright because He wrote it….regardless of all the other “actors” involved in it.

Deanna Clardy
August 11, 2014



Song of the day:
“Behind The Scenes”

You may think I’m just fine
How could anything ever be out of line?
I take my time to set the stage
Make sure everything is all in place

Even though I’ve got the lines rehearsed,
A picture only paints a thousand words.

Things aren’t always what they seem,
You’re only seeing part of me.
There’s more than you could ever know,
Behind the scenes.

I’m incomplete and I’m undone,
But I suppose like everyone.
There’s so much more that’s going on,
Behind the scenes.

Sometimes I can’t see anything,
Through the dark surrounding me.
And at times I’m unsure about the ground,
Beneath my feet, if it’s safe and sound.

When it’s hard to find hope in the unseen,
I have peace in knowing it will find me, yeah.

Things aren’t always what they seem,
You’re only seeing part of me.
There’s more than you could ever know,
Behind the scenes.

I’m incomplete and I’m undone,
But I suppose like everyone.
There’s so much more that’s going on,
Behind the scenes.

Things aren’t always what they seem,
You’re only seeing part of me.
There’s more than you could ever know,
Behind the scenes.

I’m incomplete and I’m undone,
But I suppose like everyone.
There’s so much more that’s going on,
Behind the scenes.

You may think I’m just fine,
How could anything ever be out of line?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

What if…..

What if….

You were as excited and motivated to reach for your Bible, as you were for your phone

If you made peace with your enemies, and every wrong you atone

What if….

Your accountability to people, were the same as to yourself

Retaliation rocks you constantly throw, were dropped – forever to be shelved

What if….

The investment you made in others, equaled or exceeded the measure you use for you

Instead of boasting self-reliance and faith in the world, you allow Christ’s nature to shine through

What if…

Rather than posting daily selfies – photo shopped, de-wrinkled, and airbrushed

Each day becoming more selfless, pointing the world to Christ, and your vanity be hushed

What if…

Instead of flaunting to the world what you did, you wore, you saw today

You seek His will, are still to listen, with complete trust in Him to lead the way

What if……

 Deanna Clardy
 February 3, 2014













Posted in Poems I've Written | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Creep of Darkest Deep

To my knees I do fall, prepare me for this battle.
In the dark depths of hell, the enemy is rattled.
He is quick to pounce, while building his strength.
He seeks to destroy, all at his arm’s length.
 I’m sick of his torture, I’m sick of his lies.
The thought of his tactics, I truly despise.
I give him this message, I tell to his face.
My words are pure heartfelt, and he’s a disgrace.
And I say to him…
You want to condemn me, you want me to fail.
By causing me heartache, you think I will bail.
Defeated and broken, I fall for your schemes.
Diverting my path, you steal my life’s dreams.
My body you strike down, and send your disease.
In my pain you stand laughing, as you are well pleased.
You delight every moment, I fall for your tricks.
Bring old thoughts to memory, you sure think you’re slick.
Comparison and talents, abilities and wealth.
Friends that have forsaken me, distorted image of one’s self.
But isn’t that just like you, to destroy all that’s good.
Reminding of a sinful self, no grace from where we stood.
Your deeds are always sinister, your acts are always grim.
A constant of what could have been, or what could be again.
I shake my head in sorrow, the time he steals from me.
Then lift my eyes to Glory, and smile at what I see.
God showing me His blessing, reveal to me His truth.
Breathing life into my ashes, even from my very youth.
The truth God set before me, concerning the evil one.
We fail to use our power, what’s gifted through the Son.
The strength that he is allowed, he is allowed indeed.
But only by his might and fight, not in authority.
God gave us the power, to rule all things that creep.
And that includes the evil one, the creep of darkest deep.
With faith I stand empowered, I raise His Mighty Sword.
No longer to be shackled by, the chains of sin’s reward.
Remove yourself from my life, obey me as you must!
In Christ’s Name I condemn you, beneath my feet you’re dust!
Deanna Clardy
March 5, 2013
Conqueror in Christ2 Conqueror in Christ4 I Am A Conqueror in Christ
Posted in God revealing moments, Poems I've Written, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Stop Requested

God grabbed my attention this morning.  I was on the bus, just entering downtown Dallas, when the all too familiar “ding” echoed throughout the vessel’s PA system, followed by a techie female voice declaring “Stop Requested.”  It was in this “ding” moment that I felt God prompting me to listen to what He was placing in my heart.

Sometimes, I wish that His still, small voice was amplified by this loud “Ding! Stop Requested” declaration.   You know, those times when your thoughts and emotions are running rampant, causing you to lose focus on what’s truly important in this life…”Ding! Stop Requested!”  Reminding you to breathe in, regain your godly focus, and do whatever it is you need to do in this moment according to how God would have your respond/react.  Pray, praise, release, receive, acknowledge, accept, forgive, or just plain let it go and give it to God.

Or, what about in those moments of judgment?  When you’re looking upon someone (a child of God) and criticizing or condemning them for not being what YOU feel they should be, wear, do, say, act, believe, befriend, etc.  Wouldn’t a “Ding! Stop Requested” be incredible to receive from Him in these moments?!  A “Stop Requested” from God, allowing you to realize the path of hatred and self-righteousness you are about to choose, not only for yourself, but for those around you participating in, and increasing the momentum of, the downward spiral.

What about a “Stop Requested” for those times when you’ve allowed your own foolish pride to keep you from having a relationship with someone? A reminder to humble yourself, ask for forgiveness for the things you are responsible for, and then releasing them for the things they are responsible for, regardless of whether or not they have asked for such forgiveness. This “Stop Requested” would save so many relationships, be it marital, friendship, or in any other relationship in our lives.  But instead, some choose (yes it is a choice) to allow bitterness, resentment, pride and selfishness to overpower the “Ding! Stop Requested” call of Christ, and allow that relationship to dissolve and die.  Sometimes we think it’s easier to walk away from, avoid, or hit “delete,” rather than to heed the “Ding! Stop Requested” call of Christ to restore or heal.

We think by divulging our disapproval of someone to those who are willing to listen to us (those who won’t listen to that “Ding!” either), to those who justify our own feelings, that they will somehow overpower the “Ding!” resonating in our heart.  All the while knowing, full well in our hearts, that it won’t, which in turn develops, cultivates and breeds bitterness, resentment and self-righteousness.  Brutal cycle to endure.

It has always amazed me how easy it is for some people to just walk away from another. And over what? A misunderstanding? A difference of opinion? Hurt feelings? A judgment by YOU?  People in committed relationships, friendships or families that have the ability to just flip an emotional switch within them and just be done.  Like it never happened.  No loss, no gain. Pride seeded so deeply in their heart that they would rather just disappear or move on, rather than humble themselves, soften their heart, and offer an explanation and ask for forgiveness.  A life of hurt will do this to a person. A life of perpetual disappointment, fear, and loss.  A life of abuse by those who have had a life of the same.

I used to be this person.  I am thankful I no longer have that “off switch,” but it sure is hurtful to know those that do, and to have those that have it use it against me. Once upon a time, I could just “chalk it up” or “write it off” to experience sake.  Well, I’ve experienced all of that in my lifetime that I ever want to, and I’m truly grateful that “experience” has been replaced with God’s “Ding! Stop Requested.”

Children of God recognize His “Ding! Stop Requested” admonitions.  He just leaves it up to us to make the choice to listen, or to disregard them.  It’s your choice. Choose wisely.

When you choose your choice, you choose your consequence. I choose God, and I choose to continually pray and ask for all the “Ding! Stop Requested” moments He will afford me.

Father God, thank You for sending me Your “Ding! Stop Requested” and I pray I will get off at each and every one of Your stops!! In Christ’s Name I pray. Amen.

Deanna Clardy. February 13, 2013

Stop Requested

Posted in God revealing moments, Seeking God | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment


He said…be still…obedient…silent.

It was my own personal S.O.S. being transmitted directly by God into my life.  A distress signal indicating that a change in my life is crucial for growth, spiritual maturity and for a closer walk with God.   It has taken me by complete shock, and months to finally figure it out, but it all makes sense to me now.  I’ve come to accept and acknowledge this season of my life, as excruciating  as it has all been.  If what I’ve endured is what it had to take to get my attention – to have my S.O.S. answered, for me to become less and for Him to become greater – then I welcome it wholeheartedly into my life and I wouldn’t have had Him change a thing.

He said “Be Still.”  It all started in June, 2012, when a cervical cancer that had been non-existent for fifteen years returned.  Doctors didn’t have an answer as to why it decided to return, only that it had and surgery was needed.  Questions were asked, plans set in motion, and surgery was concluded in August, 2012, being confident that all cancer was removed.  A week into my healing process, I began feeling a sharp pain on the left side of my pelvic/groin region.  I just assumed it was all part of the healing process from the laser surgery that removed the cancer. Another week went by and the pain persisted. Little by little, day by day, the pain greatly intensified and began to cause me to walk with a limp, and left my in tears throughout every day. I contacted the doctor who performed the surgery and questioned her as to if anything happened during the surgery that I should be aware of. She assured me that it was nothing that she had done, nor the affects from the surgery.  My gait is drastically affected and the pain increased tenfold.  I sought help from another doctor.  This was the beginning of a myriad of doctors and specialists that would become prevalent in my life.

Fast forward a month and a slew of tests, MRI’s, x-rays, blood work, and all sorts of dyes and nuclear medicines flowing through my veins. On September 26, 2012 it was determined that I have a disease called Avascular Necrosis and it is killing off the bones of my joints, namely, my hip joints, and that my left hip was 70% dead and my right was 20-30% affected, and that a right total hip replacement was a likely possibility for my not-so-distant future. I was at an extreme risk just from walking as the hip could collapse at any moment. They placed me on crutches and advised me that I needed a complete left hip replacement immediately….at the age of 43.  Devastation doesn’t even come close to what I was feeling. What a whirlwind, what a life-altering scenario that was playing out in my world. Heavenly Father….why?

The flood of questions that raced through my mind were endless and couldn’t be answered. All the testing concluded what it was, but not why it was.  Multiple doctors, innumerable tests, specialists left scratching their heads as to the cause of the avascular necrosis.  Speculation, but no definitive answer as to why.  On November 21, 2012 I received a total left hip replacement and am now having to learn how to walk again, leaving behind my dream of being a runner and participating in marathons, and much less particular activities of day to day living.  BUT GOD….

He said “Be Obedient.”  During this healing process I haven’t had much of a choice in “being still.”  Being still is just about the only thing I CAN do.  I’ve also learned to be obedient in this “being still” season.   I love being able to spend time with God, just talking. He has revealed so much to me that I know I never would have heard without this “being still” season of my life.  It’s easy to miss His still small voice if you are living life to please others, filling the hours with meaningless tasks, not making time to be in His Word, and allowing the world’s bellows to mask His benevolence.  I want to be obedient, Lord.

He said “Be Silent.” This was a hard lesson for me to learn.  To be honest, I’m still learning it and I’m sure I will be for the rest of my life.  I’ve had to pause, remove myself from the “normal” daily patterns, and people of my life and just be alone and sit in silence.  I had to stop living in such a way to try to please others, and stop being, and feeling, like I had to be everything to everyone in my life. Regardless of how I tried, it was all in vain, as the more I tried to be what someone else needed me to be, I could never measure up because of their lack of what (Who) they needed in their life, and their complete denial of any responsibility or ownership of their actions.  I’ve had to release all control to the One Who truly has dominion, and stop living with a false sense of security that is merely a facade of control.  I had to start living my life for an audience of One, to allow His will in my life, and to stop trying to control things in my own strength.  During my “silent” time, not only my own heart was revealed, but also the heart of others. True friends, true ties, humble and understanding hearts, as well as the truly selfish, self-centered, self-vindicating and prideful.    In being silent, I allow Him to speak through me, and my soul will feed on His word.

I’ve pondered relentlessly as to why.  Why now, why my hip, why this disease, why the blood transfusion while I was in the hospital?  I feel like God has revealed to me the following:

“I have allowed all of this to come into your life because you have absolutely no control over it. The multitude of doctors can’t even tell you why.  They can give you a what it is, but not a why it is, and there is also no stopping this disease…without Me.  I have allowed this into your life because it gives you no other choice but to look to Me and trust in Me for your healing and restoration.  Why did I choose the hip? Symbolism.  The hip is the largest weight-bearing bone in the body. It is time that you gave Me all the weight and heavy loads that you have been carrying around with you for your entire life.  Allow Me to carry you.  Lay all of your weight-bearing burdens upon Me to handle. You have tried to carry them in your own strength for far too long.  You ask Me why did you have to endure a blood transfusion during your stay at the hospital? My dear child, it was a symbolic reminder that you needed blood to save your life. But not just any blood…My blood.  The saving blood of Christ to sustain your life, to nourish you to health, and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. The blood to take you from this life, into life everlasting.  I am the Great Physician. Your disease, your handicap, all things that ail you, are not greater than I.  You are made whole in and through Me. I will restore you in My perfect timing.  I’ve heard your cries, I’ve caught every single tear you’ve ever shed, and I’ve responded to your S.O.S.  I have, and will continue to be, right by your side, carrying you through the difficult times, the strength in your hip, and the blood that flows through your veins. Trust me in ALL things, not just some. Look to Me and My strength, not your own. For I know the plans for your life. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.  Remain in Me.”

Father God, I trust You.  Not because I have to, but because of the love I have for You, the obedience I want to give You, and because I know that You are trustworthy and faithful.  Thank You for carrying me through this season, and every season, of my life.  I relinquish all control over to You into Your perfectly capable hands. You are my strength.  All of my weight-bearing burdens, I place in Your hands.  All control I give to You over my life.  Thank You for staying and sitting with me during these healing days of silence. All these days, as I have been home healing, sitting alone and in silence, I have felt Your presence, and in Your presence I am made whole. Thank You for this season of my life, Father.  If this is what it has taken to have me hear You, grow closer to You, to be obedient to You and have Your will in my life, I thank You for it, Lord, and I’d endure it all over again if that’s what it takes to praise You. I trust You, God.  In Christ’s Name I pray, Amen.

Deanna Clardy, December 13, 2012

By His Wounds










cleanse me

Posted in God revealing moments, Seeking God | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments